I Shouldn't Love You
by SparklingEnchantress
Summary: Inspired by the mention of particular songs in 2x12 and where they originated. This is my take on where "I Shouldn't Love You" was actually written. For mature readers only. Happy Valentine's Day y'all, read and enjoy!


**A/N: **Well howdy all you beautiful people out there. So, this little piece has actually been sitting in my files for nearly a year now. I started writing it after Deacon and Rayna wrote "This Time" together back in 2 x 12. Inspiration came quickly upon hearing several specific "hit" songs that they wrote together on that very floor but then there was that one song, "I Shouldn't Love You", that Deacon swore they wrote on that floor. However, Rayna quickly reminded him otherwise and the look she gave him and Deacon's "oh" well it got my mind spinning to say the least. Spinning with thoughts of not only the emotional impact of a song titled "I Shouldn't Love You" but also just where they did write it. So, having babbled about all this...you can imagine that what I'm getting at is, that this piece is what my imagination cooked up. If inspiration came quickly you're probably wondering why it took so gosh darn long for me to upload this and quite simply I just haven't been feeling like I'm on top of my game writing wise. Thankfully, I got a huge nudge recently by someone who means well, basically everything to me Anlgsp. Thank you, thank you, thank you a thousand times over for giving me feedback when I periodically sent you little blurbs and thank you for giving me the final push to post this after reading your birthday cake. You're the best. Also, side note the song I used does NOT belong to me and I claim no rights once so ever it is by David Nail and the lyrics are truly wonderful. I did tweak the lyrics, only slightly but they still do not belong to me. And any similarities between this story and any other Deyna story out there are completely **unintended **and all praise belongs to those writers. Anyways, without further a do... Happy Valentines Day, now enjoy this cake!

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The noon news screams in the background as I stare aimlessly at the tracklist in front of myself. A meteorologist is outlining the path he anticipates a severe storm to be traveling in and I roll my eyes. Maybe that was what I should've done; I could get paid for being wrong half the time. Laughing out loud to my own random thoughts my eyes skirt up and down the track list, the album is still three songs short of being complete and nothing that I currently have slated for the record feels worthy of single gold. Chewing on the end of my pen thoughts knot together inside my mind of what my next move is going to be. My index finger on my left hand reaches out and traces the words lining the silver plated bracelet held together by links that circles my wrist. It had been a gift from Deacon. One he gave me for no particular reason on a hot summer day after his first cycle through rehab. Right before everything spun out of control and sent us into yet another dizzying downward spiral.

Deacon recently got out of rehab, for the third time and holed up at the cabin. Our home. He'd encouraged me to stay there while he was in rehab but it felt wrong to be there without him. So, instead I began to rent an apartment in East Nashville. Such a drastic move had caused my sister to assume I was 'finally' ready to take her up on her game of cupid. Reluctantly I had allowed her to set me up with some country club snob. Everything I loathe ultimately, but there I sat fingers interlaced together ready to bolt. Sure, he was the perfect gentlemen but not exactly my type. My initial reaction to the suitor she'd chosen for me made me question if Tandy knew me at all. In reality, the date only served to distract me while Deacon was tucked away in rehab and working to keep himself sober, to fight off his demons, hopefully once and for all. The date was dry and blain, it had nothing to do with Theodore, he was charming and attentive but I just wasn't ready to give up on my tortured songbird. I wasn't ready to let go of the melodies, the lullabies, the damaged guitar God, I wasn't ready to let go of him, the third times a charm right? That's what I kept telling myself over and over again so much so, that it became my mantra.

Maybe, this time really would work, maybe Deacon was finally ready to be sober for good, but I had no way of knowing where his head was at because of the distance he had put between us, a distance I apparently unwillingly agreed to keep between us. It was after all what he wanted, he had ended things, but that didn't mean that I wasn't allowed to care about his well being we had been friends first, albeit it had been brief we have always vowed that we were friends first. That's the earful we give the press when questioned about our roller-coaster relationship, between out of tune guitars, busted amps, clawed flesh, and flushed skin we were above it all friends.

Throwing the pen down onto the coffee table I retrieve the remote and punch the power button effectively blackening the television set and setting the whole apartment into an eerie silence. Exhaling a shaky breath my arms twine themselves around my upper body making a split second decision I push myself off the couch and collect my songbook, tossing it into my oversized purse. Grabbing my leather jacket off the back of the couch I fold it over my arm and head out the door. Making my way through the dim apartment complex halls I ride the elevator down to the underground garage.

-###-

When I pull into the driveway and see his shiny grey SUV a small smile glides over my lips, the expression fades away though as a dread washes over me. I have no idea in what condition I may find him in. Hell, I might be too late this time, what if he?I stop the thought before it can really be fully developed and jump out of the car holding my breath as I make my way towards the porch.

"Hey."

From the sound of such a simple expression my shoulders rise and fall as I release a breath that was trapped in my lungs since my arrival. "Hi," whispers off my tongue as I turn away from the porch and see his fishing gear haphazardly strewn across the grass by the river. "Did ya catch anything?" Falls out between my lips in a curious tone as my feet carry me toward him.

"No, no it was a slow day." A ghost of a smile cracks over his features as he shuffles around bobbers, fishing line, hooks, and artificial bait. Closing his tackle box Deacon does the clasps, and lifts it off the ground as he swivels on the balls of his feet and moves to a standing position.

"Ah," nodding my head in understanding I glance over at him dark grey clouds shielding the sun and bringing with it an unexpected gust of wind. There's a lull in our conversation and my eyes assess the clouds above before my eyes are involuntarily drawn back to Deacon. "You look good," squeaks out of my mouth my head nodding a little to the statement.

That smile that melts my insides creeps over his lips causing his blue eyes to sparkle slightly, reminding me just how much I missed that half smile. "You too...although you always look good. I swear darlin', you couldn't look bad if you tried."

Our eyes hold one another's gaze for a moment before I glance to the toes of my favorite boots, boots that Deacon had actually bought for me, feeling the heat skirt across my cheeks. "Well I-uh, I don't know about that." Finding myself at a loss for words I tuck an errant strand of hair out of my face before my eyes return to his and my head tips to the side slightly, assessing him.

"I do, I don't think you've ever looked better babe."

Hearing that term of endearment roll easily off his lips causes my breath to catch. "Thanks," my mouth manages to return.

"So are we gonna keep beatin' round the bush?"

"What'd you mean?"

"What'd ya doin' here Ray?"

"Oh…uh ya know.." swatting my hand to the sticky air, involuntary causes my body to sway in that general direction.

He offers me a confused look letting me know that my not so eloquent response was less than informative. "No, I don't know...well, not exactly. I mean, sure, I have an idea on why you're here."

"And whys that?"

"Why don't you just tell me?" Deacon challenges, fixing me with a look.

Sighing slightly I shrug my shoulders, my eyes playing an avoidance game." It's just that I haven't heard from you...or ya know seen ya in a while, so I thought I'd come check in, make sure.." My voice trails off as I become completely distracted and flustered. When our eyes meet, I come to the realization that I hadn't thought this through entirely.

"Just thought you'd check up on me, make sure I wasn't drunk?" He finishes before I even have a chance to fully explain myself. Man, I hate when he does that, accuses me of things that are, in actuality, true without allowing me the chance to get my own explanation in.

"Don't say it like that."

He shakes his head and brushes past me with his fishing gear. I spin around my eyes watching him as he stows away his fishing pole and tackle box in the small shed. Deacon exhales loudly before turning to address me. "Well, I'm sober…have been since I checked out."

The hard clipped conviction in which he is responding rattles my insides, and I can feel them involuntarily constrict. My eyes desperately search his silently hoping that he's not lying this time. That he really hasn't touched a drop of that dark poison. Suddenly, my mouth feels unusually dry as my jaw drops open slightly and my lips part, but no words come out. This causes Deacon to run an agitated hand over his face before his eyes turn icy, "you can go now."

"Ugh, damnit Deacon!"

"What?" Our eyes lock and his appear to be two icy shards of broken glass. Setting my insides a blaze. They're a scary mixture, though, one that I've seen before, but usually it's one that is tinged with red eyes and stinks of whiskey. The only ingredient missing in this concoction is the whiskey, and as I search his eyes his voice fringes on the cusp of distaste. "Don't you have a boyfriend to get back to?"

"Don't do that. You're the one who broke up with me, in a letter ...what did you expect me to do, Deacon?"

"Well, not that." A hint of disgust seeps out through his words cutting me deep down to the core. "Why are you even here Ray?" His voice is strained, desperate, almost as if he's doing his best to ward off something, a feeling of sorts.

Studying the scuffed toes of my cowboy boots we both stew in the silence. My eyes finally glance up to meet his, raw and surprisingly unguarded ones, and I lay my defenses down. "It was nothing." Comes out of my mouth in a matter-of-fact tone. As his gaze suddenly burns into me, I feel the overwhelming need to elaborate, to explain myself. Not that I have to, or that he deserves any sort of explanation. "I went on a date with this guy Tandy set me up with." My voice pauses as he nods, and then shakes his head letting out what sounds like a bitter laugh. "Seriously, Deacon, what do you want from me? You broke up with me, 'member? You told me to move on. Do you think it was easy for me to go out on a date with some guy who knows nothing about me, and is the furthest thing from my type? Do you think I didn't spend the whole time wishin' he was you?"

"Why would you waste your time wishin' you were with a drunk like me?"

"Damnit Deacon 'cause...cause it's you and me," pausing to regain some composure I inhale before whispering, "forever." Reaching for my right wrist, I twist an engraved and semi-scratched silver plated bracelet around for added effect. "...'member?" God, I did, I remembered that day just like it was yesterday.

_Pushing against the door it creaks before giving way, I cringe at the sound, Deacon said he would take care of that. Stepping out onto the porch the overwhelming smell of fresh cut grass assaults my nostrils, it's a welcomed smell though, I have always loved it. Today, was a rare day, we found a slot of time where we were allotted a four day weekend. Free from our hectic studio sessions and the summer shows we'd committed to in order to stay relevant. With this freed up time we made a decision to sneak away to the cabin for a little get away, a little breather. And in all honesty, I couldn't have thought of a better place to take a time out. My eyes survey the yard noting the grass clippings scattered across the plains some gathered into clumps, Deacon had been working so hard lately keeping focused and remaining sober. The summer sun was hot and I could see the sweat forming on his brow and slickening his white t-shirt causing it to cling to the muscular ridges of his upper body. Gawd, he was such a sight. Licking my lips I stepped down off the porch carrying both glasses of sweet tea with me careful not to spill any. _

_"Hey babe" I greet talking over the sound of the sander as Deacon moved it easily across the top of the wood he was crafting into a dining room table. _

_"Hey," Deacon returns, his lips offering me that crooked smile that I fell in love with the first time he ever tossed it my way. _

_"Are you gonna take a break here pretty quick?"_

_"With you lookin' like that? I'd be a damned fool not too." _

_I smile bashfully genuinely baffled by how he finds me so attractive and on a consistently regular basis. My face could be broken out and he'd still say I was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Accepting the glass from me Deacon plants a kiss to my temple before taking a long swig and looping his free hand around my waist. He leads us out of the sun and into the shade of two large oak trees. Our hammock is stretched out between the two trees and slowly Deacon backs me up until the backs of my knees hit the ropes. Taking a sip of my own tea I glance over my shoulder before I carefully lower myself onto the hammock. Feeling it dip toward the ground under my weight I set my glass down on the ground. Laying back against the ropes I gaze up appreciatively at Deacon as he removes his t-shirt. "Come lay with me," I request scooting over on the hammock to make room for him. _

"_I will in a minute, I gotta go get something." _

"_Get what?" _

"_A present."Deacon says simply before he takes off towards the cabin taking the the stairs that led to the porch two at a time before disappearing inside. _

_My mind races suddenly, this isn't the first time recently that he's showered me with unexpected gifts and of course it's appreciated it's just unnecessary. I momentarily wonder what it is this time, a new pair of earrings, rhinestone studded cowboy boots, a necklace, backstage passes to George Strait, the possibilities are quite endless with him. Hell, he bought me a house, my dream house there was not much else he could do to top that. Except for maybe getting me a particular diamond engagement ring that I'd had my eye on for a while now. Shaking the thought from my mind I smiled as I heard the door creak and Deacon bounding down the stairs toward me. When he reached the hammock Deacon's hand extended a small velvety box toward me, it resembled a box that jewelry normally came in and based off the size of it I knew it wasn't a ring. "Babe, you've gotta stop it with all these gifts...its gettin' a little outta hand." My voice warned as my eyes rose from the box in my hands to meet his big blue eyes. _

"_This is the last one, I promise." Deacon said as he lowered himself onto the hammock next to me. Stretching out next to me his eyes watched me anxiously waiting for me to open it. "Well, go ahead open it." He urged as he laid next to me. _

_Slowly my fingers pushed open the lid of the box my eyes taking in the piece of jewelry encased in the box. "Forever?" I questioned an eyebrow raising as my fingers carefully lifted the delicate piece of jewelry from it's small box._

_A wide grin sprouted over his lips lighting up his eyes as he took the bracelet from my fingers and nodded towards my bare wrist. Extending my wrist to him I smile and watch him attentively, "yeah...ya know, this thing we got babe, it's forever." Deacon declared our eyes locking as he finishes locking the jewelry into place on my wrist. _

"_Forever." My tongue tastes the word nodding in agreement as I reach up, cupping his face with my hand as I cover his lips with mine._

"_Forever." Deacon whispers breathlessly breaking his lips from mine just long enough to spit out that one word. _

"_And ever." Manages to come out from the smile on my lips between kisses as my body slides on top of his. The hammock we're laying on swaying underneath us slightly from the sudden change of position and distribution of weight. _

"_And ever…" He agrees rolling on top of me before smothering my lips with a kiss. I can feel us tipping, our weight unequally distributed on the hammock, and before I know it we're tumbling off off the ropes and into the grass. Since it's been freshly cut, the grass is rather soft against my skin and as our lips break apart I can't help but giggle. His eyes have clouded over with lust and I know what's going to come next and the thought alone causes me to blush under his watchful gaze. Deacon's hand reaches for me his thumb gliding over my jawline his body lowers down his hips brushing mine. "You and me Ray, forever." _

"_You and me Deac, forever." I agree practically trembling at his touch as our lips naturally inch towards each other meeting in the middle and sealing our declaration with a series of passionate kisses. _

Our eyes lock and as his stray over towards the hammock I know that the same memory was playing in his mind. "No...it's not." Deacon says shortly his head falling as his eyes dare a glance at the offending piece of jewelry. "I don't deserve you." He confesses out loud giving voice to words messily confessed on a crumbled piece of paper that I read and reread about a million times, and is now hardly readable due to the countless salty tears that fell onto it blurring the ink.

"Deacon would you stop sayin' shit like that? You got clean, and you're sober. You can do this, **I** believe in you. For once, in your damn life can't you believe in yourself too?"

As my words ricochet off the bark of the trees he ducks his head which effectively allows him to avoid eye contact with me. It's in this moment that I know I've struck a chord, that we both know what I'm saying is resonating. "You never answered my question…why did you come up here?"

The sound of his voice catches me off guard, its husky and reeks of desperation, and is paired with a set of blue eyes that have single-handedly slaughtered me before. "I came up here 'cause...Uh well cause for one, I wanna talk about that letter."

"There's nothing to talk about Ray, I said all I needed to say."

"I'm sure ya did...but ya know, I never got to say anything. You made that decision for both of us."

"Yeah, cause you're better off without me"

"Would you just stop and let me say what I wanna say?" Silence wraps around us and he tips his head from side to side as if he's weighing the options, and before he can protest I speak up, "you owe me that much."

"You're right. Go ahead."

"You shouldn't have missed my Opry performance, of all the shows _that_ was the one you shouldn't have missed." Deacon hangs his head, and I inhale before taking a tentative step toward him. "That show meant everything to me, to us. It's the show that effectively changed everything for my career, for us. For our lives."

"Rayna..I-"

"Don't. I didn't get to interrupt while you said everything you needed to say."

"Fair enough."

"You're sorry, I know...you've said that a lot lately, and I believe you. I believe that you truly are sorry. Which means a lot to me, but you can only say sorry so many times before it doesn't mean anything anymore." Pausing in my tangent I lick my lips before continuing, "and I don't blame you. Deacon, you have a pr- uh, a disease and you couldn't control it. It was out of your hands, hell it was out of my hands...you needed more than just my help to work your way out of all that." He nods slightly giving me yet another opportunity to pause and contemplate my next words. "And Deacon, I don't hate you. I never have, and I don't think I ever could."

"You should."

My eyes narrow as I fix him with a look in which he responds to by shaking his head and mumbling an apology for interrupting me. "No I shouldn't, like I said it wasn't all your fault, I-I get that."

"Rayna what are you tryin' to say?"

"That you don't get to run away 'cause you're scared, cause you're afraid of hurting me again. We're in this together, you and me. You don't have to do it alone babe."

"That's why you came up here, to tell me all that?"

"Well, yeah...I came here for that, and 'cause I-I wanted to...to make sure that you were okay cause I care about you." My heart constricts and then contracts several times and I know that I can't hold in how I feel for one more second. "Cause I-I love you... and I probably always will, forever, no matter what." My voice quietly confesses inhaling sharply when our eyes lock. The implications attached to those words are not lost on me, we've already endured a helluva lot as it is, but maybe, we've finally reached our finish line. When he doesn't react to those three words I inhale filling my lungs with more air than probably needed and shake my head spinning towards the direction of my car. "You know what forget it! This was a stupid idea... I'm just….-I'm just gonna go."

"No, wait." Turning back toward him our eyes meet and he closes the gap that separates us. His body crushing into mine, tongues twisting together in a sloppy manner as we reacquaint ourselves with each other. It's been too long since I've tasted his kiss, melted in his embrace. Once our lips connect I am done for, my toes get that familiar tingly sensation that shoots up my shins splitting them in two before shattering my knee caps. As usual my hand reaches for him steadying myself against him as slender fingers hook into the small slits between the buttons on his flannel, clutching the plaid for dear life. We're both so consumed with our reunion, with our quickly escalating passion and the feel of one another after so long that we hardly notice the rain that starts to fall down on us. Our lips meeting continuously through a haze of large rain drops, claps of thunder, and streaks of lightning our bodies doing the communicating as we stumble backwards together inching towards the house.

We take cover under the awning on the porch, clothes soaking down to our bones and his dark brown hair is sticking to his forehead. Deacon wastes no time and grabs my face. In that instant we're a blur, frenzied hands claw at one another's clothes until he finally peels my drenched shirt off and we stumble through the half open sliding door. Once we make it inside he works the door closed, but never loses my lips as he slams my naked back against the glass. For a moment, I am surprised that the glass holding me up didn't shatter from the contact my back made with it. My eyelids flicker open and blue eyes dart through the darkness blurry until they readjust and come into focus. It's as if I'm suction cupped there momentarily, completely at his mercy.

Reaching for him my fingers trace the buttons of his soaked flannel being stopped short from undoing them as his large fingers wrap around my wrist and still my hand. Tilting my head up I gaze into his eyes that are sweeping over my nearly naked body. The look shadowing his features is unnerving, and causes me to shiver. Through the darkness surrounding us, he steps closer to me, and I can feel the heat of him radiating into my personal space.

A stroke of lightning flashes through the windows lighting up his face, and giving me the first real glimpse of the lust clouding his pupils. Standing completely still, my breath catches in my throat as he reaches for me once again. Slowly his fingertips trail down my body, grazing my beasts, skimming along my rib cage, and gliding across my abdomen. When his fingertips land on the top of my ripped faded Levi's they abruptly stop their downward descent. I watch him carefully, through long lashes, as he slowly lifts his head to meet my eyes. Our eyes lock and his are silently asking for my permission to proceed, as if he needs it. To answer his question I slowly tip my hips slightly off the glass door brushing against him. Telling him without words that I need him. Want him. Now.

A slight smirk upturns his lips crinkling the skin around the corners of his eyes as his hands curl around my hips and he gently pushes them back against the door. Working his fingers to the front of my jeans he flicks open the button with ease causing me to gasp softly. Deacon holds eye contact with me as he pulls down the zipper of my jeans and drags the back of his fingertips across my abdomen before going from hip to hip coaxing goosebumps to form on my skin in his wake. Hooking his thumbs into the belt loops of my jeans, Deacon tugs roughly shucking the sticky denim inch by inch from my legs until I can step out of them. The denim catches on the top of my cowboy boots adding a difficulty level neither of us was anticipating and causing me to stagger forward. His capable hands are there though and steady me before shimmying down and working the wet denim over my boots.

Gathering the heavy blue jeans from the floor Deacon chucks the clothing off to the side before bending down and removing his cowboy boots and tossing them carelessly to the growing pile of discarded clothing. Deacon steps back toward me his eyes touching every inch of bare skin while his hands remain on his sides, waiting, and effectively prolonging my yearning.

My eyes skirt up his clothed torso biting down on my lower lip blushing under his gaze when our eyes find one another in the dark house. Standing against the glass door of the house he bought for me, for us, wearing nothing but my cowboy boots, bra, and panties causes me to shiver. In that moment, I have the irrational wish that I chose something sexier than the mis-matched cotton bra and panties I have on, but I hadn't envisioned that my night would end here. One glance at Deacon though and all my insecurities seem futile and vanish. The look marring his features is one that I can only describe as pure carnal appreciation. "God damn, baby...you're even more beautiful than I 'membered." He whispers in a husky voice that is all too familiar, and breaks the silence hanging between us. They're the first words that either of us has uttered since our screaming match outside in the yard. And Deacon's words catch me off guard, and it's not the words themselves that leave me breathless, it's the look he's giving me and the sound of his voice as he said them.

Tentatively his right hand extends and his fingers graze, pain achingly slowly, across my bare flesh before the pads of his fingers imprint themselves on my hip bones, and he brings himself closer to me. The denim he's still wearing brushes against me causing me to subconsciously lean into him my fingers reaching forward and fisting his damp flannel, as his left hand wanders upward to cradle my neck just before his lips capture mine in a heated exchange. Eventually when the need for air becomes too great our lips break apart with a loud smack my breathing ragged as my chest rises and falls accordingly pressed tightly against his. Without skipping a beat Deacon plants soft kisses to the corner of my mouth, and then slides them down my neck. I gasp as his lips touch the top of each of my breasts feather lightly, gone too early for my liking, as he drops to his knees in front of me. My breathing quickens as his tongue blazes a wet line over my ribs, across my abdomen, dipping into my navel, briefly, as he continues his downward descent, carefully, reacquainting himself with every curve of my body.

Again, Deacon paused, his tongue flirting along the waistband of my panties before he tipped his head backward and our eyes connected. Once again he is silently asking me permission to continue, but instead of waiting for a response he stroked his fingers over my clothed core a promise of what was to come. How could I say no? It had been too long. I wanted this, wanted him, and only him, there, now. His mouth is busy again along the tender skin right below my navel setting it on fire as his entire hand cups me working the cotton against my hyper-sensitive core. Deacon slides his fingers against my panties uncurling them slightly as they trail away from my core. A sigh of pleasure rolls out of my mouth at the combined feeling of his teeth lightly scraping the flesh covering my left hipbone, and the gentle nibbling that would ensue. Suddenly his fingers find their mark and stroke over my clit my panties creating a frustrating barrier to what I hopelessly want.

Tipping my head down my eyes scan over the top of his head before manicured fingernails bury themselves through the dark brown strands of his unruly hair. At this point, Deacon's fingers had settled into a rhythm, so when his index and middle finger changed course and made a circulation motion it caused me to gasp my fingers tightening their hold on his hair. His smug smirk imprints itself into my skin as his lips trail down the inside of my right thigh, licking, nibbling, kissing, driving me crazy. Deacon's fingers are unrelenting and I can feel my increasing wetness soaking through my panties and spurring me on more everytime he moves the cotton against me. The tender kiss he places to the inside of my left knee causes a fire to explode in my belly I know what's coming, and my insides are afire with the thought of his lips finally being on me after all this time. His unoccupied hand rests on the back of my left thigh and for a moment I think he is finally going to remove my panties. Instead though his mouth covers where his fingers had just been, as he begins to suck on my clit through my panties, and to be honest, it turns me on to no end. "Ahh," falls out of my mouth between breathes as my fingers glide through his hair urging him on.

We continue on this way and my hips buck upward working against him itching to get my panties off. Deacon pauses, the heat of his mouth hovering over my clothed sensitive bud, his fingers fingers hook around the cotton and he rubs it against me once more making me quiver in anticipation above him. My fingers tug on his hair, silently demanding that he look at me, and as his head tips back and our eyes lock Deacon rips my panties off causing me to gasp. The action is so primitive and sexy as hell that my jaw hangs open for a moment, in a daze, as he growls lowly before returning his attention back to the task at hand. Before I can even comprehend what just happened his lips are on me, tasting and lapping at my wetness. His fingers work themselves into the mix, as he slowly inserts one into me, and the action elicits a moan from me as I lean back heavily on the glass door for support. My hips gently move in time with him the pace he set, and I am delightfully rewarded when he slips a second finger in, however, his lips trail away from where I want them most making me squirm. The stubble on his jaw and his lips against my tempted flesh combined with the unmistakable realness of both his fingers thrusting in and out of me, I can feel the pressure building higher.

Closing my eyes I lean back against the cool glass absorbing every sensation, my world plunged in nothing but pleasure. God, how did I ever live without this while he was away? The rate of Deacon's kisses slows suddenly causing me glance down at him through half-open eyes curious to what tricks he has up his sleeve. Painfully slowly he drags his lips up the inside of my thigh brushing them against the heated flesh in a tantalizing manner, teasing me. "Fuck, Deacon…" I whisper barely recognizing my own desire drenched voice.

The bristles of stubble are creating a familiar friction and it causes me to squirm ever so slightly as it climbs higher up the inside of my leg nearing where it left too soon. It felt like it had been hours ago that his mouth, his tongue was on me, but in reality it had only been a few minutes at most. However, it had been long enough to make me greedy for his return. And there he was again, tasting me, his lips closing around my clit and sucking on the tender skin. My breathing starts to quicken in response to the increased pace of his fingers pumping into me and I bite down on my lip hard, vaguely surprised I haven't drawn blood. Arching into his mouth I grip his hair with exceptional strength desperately trying to keep myself steady against him, but with every touch of his tongue I can feel my strength waning. He continues working his magic on me, his tongue and fingers, working in a collective manner to help build me to climax. Quickly he retracts his fingers from me, but I hardly notice, as his tongue slides along me before pushing inside of me. He twirls his tongue around inside me, leaving nothing untouched. Gently he slides his tongue in and out of me my breathing becoming more rapid. "God…" I pant settling back against the glass door as he continues. "Deacon.." I moan feeling myself reaching the peak of this crescendo.

Upon hearing me moan out his name Deacon takes the initiative, and reaches his left hand up curling it around my waist aiding in steadying me. Thankful for the support I lean into it unsure of just how much longer my legs would be able to hold me. Deacon's tongue increases its speed inside me, the tip of his tongue gently jabbing at my undoing. His other hand, which had to slickened fingers from before, had been resting against the back of my calf, but slowly starts to trail back up the inside my leg. Then, without warning, his tongue left me again and I gasped audibly as his fingers penetrated me again. _Sweet Jesus. _My vision was going fuzzy and I could feel the strength in my body dissipating.

It took all of me to stay upright, as my body trembled against him. Deacon's fingers continue to reacquaint themselves within my depths strumming against my core, building the pressure in ways that only years of experience could, as his tongue was preoccupied tracing my clit. He swirled his tongue around against my clit in a figure eight motion then begin suckling it. That was it, the final straw to push me over the edge, and the muscles in my abdomen contracted slightly as my vaginal walls clamped down around him my world erupting. "Deacon!" I call out, my legs shaking slightly, no longer able to support my weight, as I succumb to my orgasm and sink to the floor.

Not missing a beat Deacon is there, catching me before I crash to the hard wooden floor. His arms twist around me, and the rest is a blur. My breath comes in short spurts, and I can feel him carry us away from the door moving further into the house and then he is easing me gently onto his lap. Deacon holds me against him as the tremors coursing through my body moderate. Tucking my head against his shoulder, I listen intently to the patter of his heart having the strength to do nothing more than rest against him my eyes half-open. Lazily my left index finger traces the buttons of his nearly dry flannel lost in a pleasurable haze, content with the feeling of him solidly against me his chest rising and falling. Little by little I can feel my breathing returning to normal, I tilt my head up then and find Deacon already gazing affectionately at me, a satisfied smile on his lips. It was an infectious smile and I couldn't help but give him a wide smile back. "Wow," it was the only word that I could spit out, still dazed by what had just happened. I heard him chuckle and it warmed my heart, I'd missed that sound. Deacon leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead making me wrinkle my nose and smile shyly.

"Yeah," he whispers, his voice coming out scratchy giving it a sultry appeal.

Feeling some of my strength returning causes a mischievous grin to sprout over my chapped lips. My hand that was resting against him slowly wanders upward, hooking in the slit between the undone top button and the next. "You seem to be overdressed babe," rolls of my tongue as his eyes glance down and watch the movements of my fingers with heightened interest.

"Well, maybe you should help me with that darlin'." Deacon encourages me tipping his head to the side, his blue eyes provoking me to make an advance.

I mumble an incoherent agreement to his suggestion, and shift my position against him, swinging my left leg over his hips and doing the same with my right leg, now straddling his lap. A smile forms on my lips enjoying the closeness our new position is providing me. Grasping his flannel by fistfuls I bring his body closer to mine our lips meeting in the middle while my fingers blindly begin undoing the buttons one by one working their way down. Our lips break apart and instantly my eyes bounce over the flesh that his exposed by his half open flannel. With a quick flick of the wrist I finish off the rest of the buttons his shirt laying open and giving me a spectacular view of the ridges of his upper body. The sight turning me on all over again. Slowly gliding my palms up the plains off his upper body they curve over definition lines taking their time before shove the plaid off his shoulders.

Offering me a slight smirk Deacon shrugs out of the material tossing it somewhere in the living room his hands coming back down to reside loosely on my waist. Leaning forward my hands curl over his sides ascending upward with my lips trailing closely behind smothering kisses across his skin. The sound of him sighing contentedly underneath only spurs me on. When my lips reach the curve of his neck my teeth playfully nip the skin, and then I nudge my nose against his neck inching closer to his ear. Clamping down on his ear with my teeth I tug on it gently my hips grinding into his. Deacon groans his approval to the motion my hips are making against his which causes me to smile. Releasing his ear lobe from between my teeth, my lips return back to their assault peppering kisses along his jawline. Rounding his strong jaw my lips find his pressing against them softly, innocently, before meshing my lips with his again more firmly the second time. The heat flares between us, igniting the fire all over again as my tongue wiggles between his lips and tangles with his. In the intensity of the moment, Deacon's experienced hands skim up my sides sliding around to my back, meandering there his rough fingers dance along the material, but come to rest on the back of my bra. He fumbles with the clasp for a split second before blindly unclasping it and freeing my breasts from any restriction.

Our lips leave each other's as my bra limply falls off my shoulders, sliding down my arms I remove the garment dropping it to the floor next to us. His blue eyes are shadowed with lust as his right hand slips around my body, cupping one breast while his mouth slides down to find the other. Arching my chest toward him, in order to give him all the access he wanted, I lean back allowing myself to enjoy the attention he's giving me. As his tongue circles around my nipple lightly tugging it between his teeth I lost myself in the moment, the sensation. But as my legs began to cramp up I pulled away slowly, regretfully. Standing up on shaky legs I looked down at Deacon whose face was painted with curiosity. Kicking my foot up toward me, I tugged off my cowboy boot then repeated the action and removed the other one. After removing my boots I dropped them to the floor then yanked my socks off well aware of Deacon's eyes on me. Once I finished stripping the last of my clothing from my body I stood in front of him totally and completely naked. Stepping around the coffee table, I tossed him my best _come here _look over my shoulder.

And it would seem that, _that _was all the more convincing that Deacon needed. He sprung to his feet and within minutes had me in his arms, his lips slamming into mine. Hands collided against one another's as we fondled, fingertips tracing lines of fire across flesh as we swapped passionate kisses. Eventually I managed to peel my lips off of Deacon's just enough to whisper in a breathy tone, "how is it that I am completely naked and you're still half dressed?" Shaking my head in disapproval my hands slid down his chest. My fingers trace over his v-line that is poking out on either side of his jeans my lips curling up appreciatively as I admire how hard he is, for me. Working my hands to the front of his jeans the fall to cup the hardness that is straining against the denim. Seeing this only excites me more and causes me to quickly undo his belt before flicking open the button of his jeans and pulling down the zipper. I can feel his intense eyes watching me intently as I work the jeans over his hips pushing the stubborn material down until he could step out of them.

Standing back up, I admire him again, now clad in only his boxers and bit down on my lower lip. "Hmm, much better." I whisper into the darkness reaching for him. Deacon wasted no time and dropped his mouth to my shoulder, teeth nibbling at heated skin there as my hands roam across the muscles of his back. My hands descend lower slipping beneath the waistband of his boxers cupping his ass, and pulling him forward, hard, hearing him gasp in my ear when our hips connect. There is no denying how aroused he is as he pressed against me, only flimsy cotton boxers separating our lower halves.

"Jesus, Ray," Deacon groans, his large hands framing my face.

I offer him a mischievous smile before dropping to my knees in front of him. Kneeling on the hardwood in front of him I smirk slightly before reaching up with both hands and tugging off the last piece of clothing between us. His boxers fall to the floor and I eye his hard member licking my lips as my hand reaches up and closes around the length of him. I stroke him, once, twice, and then a third time my fingers sliding up and down his shaft. Tilting my head back I glance up and watch as Deacon's eyes slip shut and his breathing becomes shallow. Leaning forward my tongue tentatively reaches out and swirls around his tip before tracing the entirety of his length. As I tease him with my tongue I feel him twitch ever so slight, before I guide him into my mouth. My mouth slides over his penis moving up and down slowly while him my fingers massage his balls. Deacon moans out above me, and his hand grabs a fistful of my hair. Increasing the pace of my mouth sliding up and down his shaft, only causes Deacon's fingers to get more and more tangled in my hair with each bob of my head. When I slowly slide my mouth off of him my tongue comes out to swirl around his hard member; he allows me to taste him for a few more seconds before he gently shoves me away. "Not like that baby," I look at him slightly disappointed; I wanted to return the favor.

A smile slides over his lips and he drops to the floor by me his body pressing into mine firmly as he captures my lips between his. We tumble to the floor together both groping and fondling beginning to playfully wrestle for control. Sighing I relent allowing Deacon to roll me onto the rug in the living room. His legs capture one of mine between his pressing hard against me, as he continues to thoroughly kiss me, his tongue embracing mine before retracting. I could sense his urgency for me and it sparks my own desire I was ready, I needed him, now. Breaking away from his lips, and craning my head until my lips were level with his ear I whispered, "now Deacon...I want you, now!"

Pulling back from me Deacon's hands brace on either side of my shoulders as he holds himself above me. His blue eyes search mine and our chests collided together, he leaned down and ever so softly brushed his lips against mine while shifting positions. "Look at me baby," Deacon urges, and once my eyelids flicker open, focusing on his, he gradually, inch by hard inch, entered me, fills me. Pausing a moment he allows my walls to stretch and contract around him adjusting to him, savoring what this feels like. Leisurely Deacon begins to rock against me, gently at first using long easy strokes that were pleasant enough. As he continues I lift both of my legs, wrapping them around his waist switching up the angle of his thrust.

We move together my hips rising up to meet each of his thrusts. Our lips find one another's between staggered breaths as he rocks back and forth, slipping in and out of me. My back arcs off the rug wanting to be closer to him, my hands wander up his back nails scraping across the skin there before my right hand weaves through his hair while Deacon pumps himself with in me. Still contently driving into my depths with nice long strokes we get swept away in the slow rhythm. Moaning into his mouth as I returned his kiss I rode out his most recent thrust before my hips countered his pace. Deacon growled softly as he felt me challenge his pace reaching down he pinned my hips back to the rug and with a slight rotation of his hips the tip of his penis drove deeper and deeper inside of me.

It would seem that he is adamant on drawing-out our sex for as long as physically possibly. Fighting against his hands I try to buck up to meet him to, to help us both reach our peaks. Tipping my head back I groan in frustration as he moves smoothingly in and out, my eyelids flicker, my body relaxing as I surrender to him. Through hooded eyes I can see Deacon smirk as he leans down and takes my right nipple between his teeth and squeezes it gently. He swivels his own hips skillfully making a figure eight motion inside of me and causing me to moan. Rearing back he repeats the motion and swirls around inside me, this is sweet sweet torture. Licking my lips my breathing becomes shallow as he thrusts into me hard burying himself deep inside me and making me whimper. Deacon stills for a moment, his mouth releasing my nipple and his hand skimming up my body his thumb rolling over my cheek. "You okay?"

Slowly opening my eyes I gazed up at him smiling lazily, "yeah...never better, just don't stop." To my words Deacon grins needing no further telling as he covered my lips with his and began to move once again. With his hand cradling my cheek there was less pressure on my hips and made it slightly easier for me to connect mine with his. Lifting my hips to grind against his my legs tightened around him. Deacon took the hint then and as he distracted me with a flurry of kisses he pounded into me at an unrelenting rate. As he carries on with his new pace I hear him make a guttural sound low in his throat before his head drops into the curve of my neck. His lips peppering kisses there between ragged breaths. Using my lips to urge him on I litter his chest with kisses, licking a wet line across the lines of his upper body that I could reach from position. Gripping his lower back I can feel his muscles tightening and I knew he is edging closer and closer to his own undoing.

Gently he inched out of me, inch by inch, my chest heaving in anticipation as I gazed up at him reaching for him. Making sure to stay out of my grasp Deacon rocked back on his knees, waiting, teasing, admiring me. I bit down on my lower lip gasping, "oooh", as the tip of Deacon's penis slid over my slick folds. Gazing up at him, I caught the smirk on his lips before he penetrated me once again. Letting out an excited and pleasure filled squeal I arched into him as he slid within me in long deep strokes.

"Fuck Ray, you feel so good baby," Deacon utters out between gritted teeth doing his best to hold out for me, to wait until I have orgasmed.

When the head of his penis strikes my undoing, once, and then again I moan loudly holding Deacon still against me for a moment. "Ugh, yes...right there." I tell him encouraging me to continue he thrusts in exactly that way. No words are needed, he knows what I'm telling me and he continues to thrust into me in just the right away building me up to the brink until I am crying out and writhing beneath him. My eyes clamp shut as my head thrashing around against the rug my hand reaching out to grasp onto the fraying threads. As I ride out my orgasm I am vaguely aware of Deacon stilling momentarily before beginning again. He plows into me and my hands release the rug gripping onto his back as my body quakes below him the aftershocks of just reaching my climax pulsating through me. My vaginal walls are still constricting around him as he offers a combination of several more thrusts before his stills his body tensing as he finally empties himself inside me.

He shakes above me slightly riding out his climax, "Rayna!" Comes out of his mouth in ecstasy as he collapses on top of me our bodies still conjoined. As we lay there tangled and sweaty my mind swims, this is always what we do, let our bodies, or our songs do the talking. We suck at expressing ourselves verbally if a guitar or piano isn't involved. Blinking I try to clear the haze that has fallen over my vision, that was mind-blowing, amazing, and totally and completely satisfying. My swollen entrance is still pulsing and I blink several times marveling at the feeling of our connect bodies. I could lay here forever. Carefully I loop my arms around him holding Deacon against me as we both respectively come down from our highs. For a while we just lay there, in each other's arms not saying a word just listening to the thunder storm rage on outside. Eventually as I feel him go limp inside of me, Deacon climbs off me gently removing himself from my depths. A whiny noise I've never even heard before makes it way out of the back of my throat in response and I smile at him bashfully. Deacon smirks before dragging me towards the couch with him. Flipping my body around so that I'm facing him I lay my head on his shoulder, laying half on top of him our legs tangling as he props himself against the couch collecting a Mexican afghan, a reminder from our little trip there last year, and covering us with it.

"Now what?" Breaks the comfortable silence we're basking in. Do I detect a hint of humor in his voice?

"Write with me?" Propping my head up off his chest with my right palm I eye him hopeful that he'll agree.

"Okay babe, just let me start a fire real quick." His naked ass scoots across the floor as he loads the small furnace with logs and then grabs a box of matches and strikes one against the side of the box and after some coaxing he successfully starts a fire. Moving with ease around the living room Deacon disappears behind the couch and retrieves his Gibson. Claiming his former position on the floor next to me he steals a portion of the afghan and covers his lower half as he cradles his guitar in his arms. Plucking the strings his trained ear confirms whether or not the sounds echoing back at him are in tune or not twisting the pegs when the sound doesn't meet his critical opinion.

Handing over his tattered journal my fingers flick through the pages until I find a blank one. Taking the pen he offered me my hand begins to scratch down random phrases that had hit me earlier when we were lying in the aftermath of our rage. Bringing my knees up to my chest I rest his journal on my thighs biting my lip as a haunting dark melody erupted from next to me as Deacon's fingers worked against the steel strings.

"I know I shouldn't but…" pours off my tongue, my eyes misting over as my mind races with the words that I have yet to let ring. "I guess you're surprised to hear from me…I hope it's not too late to call."

"So you have nothing left to say, then I'll just talk…" My voice somehow manages to sing into the quiet of the cabin.

"I know I'm the one who broke your heart. I'm the one who let us down. I'm the reason we're not, together now…I hear you found somebody else." Suddenly his voice chimes in nearly scaring me half to death as he lays himself bare admitting his part in our falling out.

"But baby I can't help myself…I know I shouldn't miss your touch." Nodding my head along to the words that he skillfully added I extended my own touch to the song.

Like a game of ping pong Deacon's voice butts in as he offered his own lyrics. "I know I shouldn't lie awake, thinkin' I could win you back…prayin' now its not too late."

Assessing the lyrics we've both just mashed together beautifully I inhale sharply drawing arrows across the paper. "I shouldn't love you…but I do." My voice sings completing the phrase hanging in the air around us only the crackling fire logs filling the void.

"I shouldn't love you…" Deacon tries for himself his voice floating over the sound he is creating with his wooden friend. "But I do."

"But I do." We sing in perfect harmony. Our eyes unwilling to stray from one another's as our voices magically blend together and create this crushingly beautiful sound.

"Wow," whispers off Deacon's tongue the lyrics we just formulated driving home with both of us. Through all the grief we've brought one another there's always this pole we tend to have that brings us back to each other.

Peeling my eyes away from his I nod my head tucking away a wayward strand of my auburn tresses. "Yeah." My hand clutches the afghan tightly to my naked chest letting my mind run wild. I have no idea where we go from here, or if we can go back to what we once had. His playing halts and there's a screech of guitar strings as his arm slides across them as he retrieves his journal. Blue eyes drink him in, his brow furrows as a look of determination shadows over his features while his hand scratches words down underneath my script. Watching him blend and blur our handwriting across the page causes my lower lip to curl into my mouth as my teeth scrap the pale pink flesh. As I continue to observe him, I have the overwhelming desire to reach up and run my fingers through the soft strands of his hair. To smooth down the stubborn flecks of brown hair that were sticking up in odd places. However, it's in this moment that I don't know if I've ever seen someone more attractive, more sexy. A smile cracks his demeanor and he lifts his eyes and meets mine, silently letting me know that I've been caught. Holding eye contact with him for a moment a soft almost nervous giggle escapes my lips as I tear my eyes away from his and distract myself with a loose thread on the afghan covering my body.

Suddenly he drops the pen and collects his guitar picking out the melody right where he'd left it. "Tell me what's up with your new friend...no I shouldn't even ask." Deacon sings his eyes following the words he'd messily jotted down under my watchful eye. Tipping his head back Deacon's eyes find mine and he nods towards the journal laid between us.

"It's not fair to interfere..." I sing out loud squinting slightly as I read the lyrics.

"I had my chance, I told you were through..." Deacon's voice takes over and then he glances at me, waiting, "but I've never gotten over you." We sing together our voices blending beautifully. The words resting heavily on both of our shoulders. After what had just transpired there is no doubt that we're still in love with the other.

"I know I shouldn't miss your touch," rings out as Deacon's voice drops out and he allows me the limelight.

"I know I shouldn't lie awake, thinking I could win you back...prayin' now its not too late." His voice resonates between us and I inhale deeply my eyes studying him. Tilting his head to the side, four blue eyes connect and without skipping a beat our voices sing in perfect harmony, "I shouldn't love you, but I do."

We sing what I've temporarily named the chorus again in the same fashion that we had just previously sung it and both repeat the last part letting the words settle around us. My heart begins to race as the silence fills the cabin, our eyes stayed in-line with one another's as we sang and it was intense. I lick my lips feeling my girly parts throb for him. Letting out a breath I wasn't aware had been caught in my lungs Deacon's journal drops to the floor and he quickly props his guitar up against the arm of the couch. Before I can even think about anything our lips slam together nothing but the afghan between us this time around. My skin feels as if it is on fire from the simple look he had been giving me. We're a haze of hands and lips and as we break apart for a breath, "I shouldn't love you," whispers off my tongue before his infiltrates my mouth and twists around mine. Its a confession of sorts, we both know the pain and the sorrow our relationship is tainted with but we can't help but pull back into one another. After everything, I shouldn't love him, but it's out of my control, I am his, always. Heart, mind, body and soul it's all his. He owns me, and he's well aware of this.

"You shouldn't," he agrees breathlessly against my parted lips his fingers blindly imprinting themselves across every delicate inch of skin covering my bones. His tongue sinks into my mouth in one smooth collision distracting me as his fingers teasingly skim across my folds.

"Uh..ah" tilting my hips upward, his fingers hover dangerously close to my core as our eyes connect. "But I do," is my breathy confession blue eyes bleeding into his.

"But you do what?" The tone of his voice gives him away. His fingertips lightly brush across me, almost enough to be considered an accident if I didn't know any better, before retreating giving me the distinct impression that he's exploiting his power over me.

"Love you," falls simply from my lips as if it's the most honest and real thing to ever come out of my mouth. I watch the hue of his blue eyes blaze with desire after the utterance of such powerful words. "Even though I shouldn't," manages to taint the air between us but is cut short when his lips crash down against mine his right hand cradling the back of my neck and holding me there igniting the process all over again.

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THE END.

* * *

_Reviews are very welcomed, but please go easy. _

_Mauhhhh_

_SparklingEnchantress_


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